


stumbling blindly toward the light

by youmeandem



Category: Batwoman (TV 2019), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Character Study, Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), Drama, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:48:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21770545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youmeandem/pseuds/youmeandem
Summary: The Girl of Steel—powerless. The Paragon of Hope—hopeless. It’s awfully ironic.or:kara needs some help remembering what she's doing it all for
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Kate Kane/Sophie Moore, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 12
Kudos: 337





	stumbling blindly toward the light

They’ve been at the Vanishing Point for a few hours now. None of them know what to do next. None of them actually want to be here, wherever ‘here’ is.

It reminds Kara a lot of the Phantom Zone and the parallel is almost hysterical.

Despite being surrounded by six other people, Kara’s never felt this alone before. It’s a pressing kind of loneliness. It’s omnipresent. Everyone’s lost their world today. There’s too much for one person to hold. Too much even for two.

The group split up. Sara’s been here before. She’s practical. She and Kate were the first ones to jump into action when Lex appeared, wrestling the book away from him before apprehending him. They tied him to a pillar with some loose wire. He hasn’t broken loose again. Didn’t think to give himself powers when he had the book. Stupid.

After the initial shock, Sara and Kate went to check the place. What for, Kara doesn’t know. Everything’s gone. The place looks and sounds abandoned. She watched them go anyway. Everyone copes in a different way. If Sara and Kate want to feel useful, she won’t be the one to stop them.

Barry’s in a corner of the room, silent tears streaming down his face. The Paragon of Love lost his love today. Kara gets it. She doesn’t disturb him.

Ryan Choi, whoever he is, is sitting next to Barry. He doesn’t seem to realize the severity of what happened. He’s just human. He shouldn’t be involved in this whole thing. Iris told Kara all he wanted was to go home to his family and spend his last moments holding his wife and baby, yet here he is.

Kara hasn’t moved since Kal-El died in her arms. She hasn’t stopped staring at the spot Lex Luthor appeared after her cousin, in a way, evaporated into red dust.

A hand is placed on her shoulder. Kara doesn’t need to look to know who it is. J’onn. How many times has she found solace in him, his experiences being the closest to her own? How often have they recounted their pasts to each other, their way of life, their entire world? But his presence doesn’t bring the comfort it usually does. He’s grieving the same world she lost today, or yesterday, or way before. His memories can only add salt to the wound, torn open all over again. The rusty knife lost somewhere inside of her.

How is she supposed to mourn Alex knowing her words will only make him hurt even more?

J’onn doesn’t push. He can read her mind. He knows she doesn’t want to talk. His hand leaves her shoulder.

She blinks. She needs to get out of here. She doesn’t know where to go, but her feet move on their own accord.

Were they scared, when the anti-matter swallowed them? They knew what was happening, but they must’ve thought she’d be able to stop it. She failed them and she can’t even tell them how sorry she is.

She doesn’t know what to do.

She finds a window. A faint blue light shines through, and what she sees are ruins. A collection of have-beens, reflecting back what’s inside. Beyond that; nothing.

No sun, either. If she stays here too long, her powers will be gone and she won’t be of any use at all. Even if she still had hope.

The Girl of Steel—powerless.

The Paragon of Hope—hopeless.

It’s awfully ironic.

If only Alex were here. She’d know what to do. She always knows—knew—what to do. Except around pretty girls, but Kara can’t really blame her for that. If Alex were here, maybe she wouldn’t feel so lost.

She should’ve spent more time with her. She can’t remember the last time they spent the entire evening eating takeout from their favorite Chinese place, binge-watching an entire season of whatever, Alex slowly getting drunk on wine. Just the two of them. If they manage to somehow save the multiverse, that’s the first thing Kara’s going to do.

She sinks down on a crate, that must’ve once held precious cargo, leaning her head against the window. She has a complicated relationship with space. Sometimes she longs for it, sometimes she wakes up screaming and having to remind herself that she got out of the nothingness in the end.

“Hey.”

Kate has a habit of moving so quietly Kara doesn’t hear her coming. Sara’s less quiet, although Kara suspects it’s mostly because she doesn’t care to be. They appear at her sides, staring out the window with her.

No one speaks for a moment. Then Kate clears her throat. “We’re the only ones here.”

“To be fair, we’re the only ones anywhere,” Sara says. She sinks down on one of the crates opposite of Kara. Kate follows her example.

(Kara doesn’t _need_ to sit. She doesn’t tire, usually. It’s preferable, though.)

“How are you holding up?” Kate asks.

“Fine,” Kara says, because even if she wants nothing more than to just give up in this hopeless situation, she can’t show the others. They’re counting on her. “What about you?”

“Pretty shit,” Kate replies, to which Sara nods in agreement. “I can’t stop thinking about my dad, and my sisters.”

Kara frowns. “I thought you only had one sister.”

“Mary is… _was_ my step-sister.” Kate pauses. “I took her for granted, and now it’s too late to make it right. She’s dead, and we’re gonna die on this… whatever this is.” She looks out the window. “Are we in space?”

“The Vanishing Point is a dimension that exists outside of the normal space-time continuum,” Sara says, almost robotically. “Sorry, it’s a whole thing. Long story.”

“We’ve got nothing but time on our hands,” Kara shrugs. “Unless someone figures out how to get out of here or how to beat the Anti-Monitor.”

Sara and Kate share a look. Kate bumps her knee against Kara’s. “Hey, what happened to being the Paragon of Hope?”

Kara stares at her hands, fiddles with the strap between her thumb and index finger. “I don’t know how we’re going to fix everything. I don’t even know how to get back. We can’t use the Book, and none of us can teleport. And even if we do, then what’s the point? The multiverse is gone. How are we supposed to get it back? What if we can only bring back one Earth? It’ll be Earth-1, but Earth-38 will still be lost. All those people… I don’t even know if Alex made it off Earth-38, and—”

“Who’s Alex?” Kate interjects.

“My sister.” Kara looks over at Kate, to Sara who’s awkwardly avoiding Kara’s eyes, and back at Kate. She doesn’t even really know these people. They just save the world together sometimes—or fail to. And yet they’re all she has left. She lets out a shaky breath. “For a really long time she was the only person who made Earth feel like my home. Now she’s gone, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get her back, and I don’t know how to do any of this if not for her.”

“You keep going,” Sara says. “A couple of years ago I couldn’t imagine myself saying this, but sometimes there are things bigger than us. I don’t know if I’ll ever see Ava or anyone else on the Waverider again, but if I don’t keep going I know it’s certain I’ll never see them again.”

“Who’s Ava?” Kate asks, looking more lost than ever.

A soft smile tucks at the corners of Sara’s lips. “My girlfriend.”

Kate’s eyes light up at that. “You have a girlfriend?”

“You don’t?” Sara asks, eying up and down Kate’s body, eyes reflecting recognition back at her.

“Dating as a new vigilante is kind of hard, apparently.” Kate stills, a sadness spreading over her face. “The woman I love, Sophie, is married… to a man. It’s a long, complicated story, but I don’t want her to do anything she’s going to regret. So I told her it’s best not to see each other for a while.”

“I’m sorry, that’s rough. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Kate shrugs. “It’s okay. There’s not much I can do about it from up here. Maybe it’s for the best.”

“She’ll come around,” Sara says. “’Complicated’ doesn’t usually mean the end of all the endings.”

Kara looks between them. People call them heroes, the three of them, and yet they still have the same problems as everyone else. It’s ironic, how the world can be ending and the people they love are what drives them to save it above all else.

Kate’s jaw is set, but when she speaks, her voice trembles ever so slightly. “After we save the multiverse, I need to make things right with Mary.”

“I need to make sure my crew doesn’t constantly fuck up history.”

They both look at Kara.

Kara doesn’t want this. She doesn’t want to think about Alex. It makes her feel too cold inside. But they’re both staring at her, and she knows what they’re doing. She sighs. “I need to mend my relationship with Lena.”

Sara raises her eyebrows. Despite everything there’s a smirk playing around her lips. “Lena?”

“She’s my best friend,” Kara says. “Or she used to be. Lex told her I’m Supergirl before I could, and now she’s mad at me.”

“Lex? As in Lex Luthor? That asshole?” Kate nods her head in the general direction they came from.

“He’s Lena’s brother.” Kara shifts on her crate. “Anyway, she tried to brainwash the whole world to make everyone stop hurting each other. We stopped her, though, but she’s still mad. J’onn said her and Alex made sure as many people got off Earth-38 as they could, but we don’t know if they made it themselves. Not that it matters anymore.”

Kate narrows her eyes. “So your ‘best friend’ tried to brainwash the world and you still want to make things right? I have to say that makes me feel slightly better about thinking Beth could still be saved.”

“I can’t just give up on her. I’m the one who hurt her in the first place.”

Sara shakes her head, a knowing look in her eyes. “Oh honey…”

“Sounds like it’s Lex who ruined your life, not you,” Kate says. “No wonder your beef with him seemed personal.”

“Our lives are really fucked up, and yet we don’t stop trying to get them back,” Sara says, a laugh escaping her lips.

It’s inappropriate and wrong, but something about the sound makes Kara feel a little bit lighter. They’re right. Giving up hope isn’t gonna get them anywhere. There are so many things she still wants to do, and even more she wants to say.

The corners of her mouth twitch. “Thank you, guys.”

“All we did was remind you of things worth fighting for.”

“We all get lost sometimes,” Sara says. “But you’re very welcome.”

Kara stares out the window again. Space doesn’t seem as daunting anymore. She’s not exactly safe, but she still made it out alive. She’s been through this once; she can do it again. All she needs to do is not give up. Keep going. One step at a time. Eventually she’ll stumble upon the answer. She needs to believe she will, otherwise there’s no point to the cape or the crest or _anything_.

From the corner of her eye she sees Sara and Kate fist-bumping each other, and smiles. She might not know them as well as she knows Alex or Lena or J’onn, but they’re still her friends. They both have lives and problems and love she knows nothing about, but maybe that’s okay. They just need to save the world together sometimes. At the end of the day, that’s all she needs to know.

A warm feeling swells in her chest, and suddenly she knows what to do. She looks at them, her friends, and she takes a deep breath. “I have an idea. I’m not sure if it’ll work, but we have to try. Come on, let’s get the others. We have a multiverse to save.”

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i have no idea what kara's plan is, but i'm sure it'll save the multiverse!
> 
> please leave kudos or a comment if you liked it, or find me on twitter @luthvers or tumblr @ lenacorporations
> 
> thanks astrid & megan for proofreading
> 
> title is from the next right thing by kristen bell


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